Easter Basket Ideas

I love holidays.  I love tradition and special occasions, decorations, and cookies in the shape of anything other than a cookie.  I think they're fun, even though I'm no longer 9 and I don't get a class party anymore.  I find the seasonal sections of stores VERY tempting.  (Especially the socks!  I hate feet, but I LOVE socks.)  

But I'm a responsible adult without unlimited funds, and I'm trying to devalue the importance of stuff to my kids, not emphasize it.  So, I limit myself:  Christmas, birthdays, costumes on Halloween, and coming up- Easter baskets!

We like to fill their baskets with fun and cute stuff- but useful stuff we probably would have ended up getting them anyway, (and candy!)  This tradition started when we had negative a zillion dollars and were trying to save a buck or two, but now it's part of the fun.  Here's a round up of some of the things I'm considering this year.

Sun Hats - Batting Gloves - Sketch Book - Manga Drawing Set - Hulk Swim Goggles - Aviator Sun Glasses - Finger Puppets - Bunny One Piece - The Velveteen Rabbit - Eos lip balm - Eos purse lotion

**Nope, not getting paid for any of these links- just think this stuff would make good Easter basket filler for my kiddos.

Getting Fit

I was miserable when I had gestational diabetes.  I hated the diet and wasted no time before I indulged in everything I couldn't have during those last 3 months of pregnancy.  I had planned on keeping it reasonable- I knew healthy habits would be important, because if you have gestational diabetes you're a lot more likely to wind up with type 2 diabetes later.  Life with a new baby is hectic though, and in addition to her I had 3 older to children to keep up with.

So, after the baby was born I quickly gave up caring, put the scale away, and pretended like nutrition wasn't a thing for a few months.  Any amount of caloric intake was acceptable as long as I was eating something occasionally.  Truth be told those first couple months were difficult, but it took me an extra couple months to get back to trying again just because I'd developed a wealth of NEW bad habits that needed breaking, and it was overwhelming.

Every time I thought about what needed to change I came up with 50 different things and couldn't even fathom how I might organize and implement them.  So my brain would start to hum, my chest would feel heavy, and then I'd need to go lay down a minute.  I gave up before I even started at least 20 times.

I realized I needed a different approach.  I needed to start off slow and simple, and not stress over how imperfect it was.  I decided just to shoot for "more."  More sleep, more exercise, more water, more fresh fruit and vegetables, more protein.  I made a couple of simple goals that fit comfortably into my life anyway.

My favorite new habit by far is taking the baby on a walk/jog every day.  She loves riding around outside in the stroller, and I love the fresh air and sunshine.  My original goal was to make it happen at least 3 times a week.  I had to work to make it a priority at first- one day I even skipped a shower because I didn't have time for both- but it only took a couple weeks for this to turn into a daily habit that fits easily into our routine.

Nice view for a morning walk.

Even better view.

I jog as much as I can (not much), and then I walk and make sure to hit as many hills as possible.  I stay out at least 45 minutes; it was only 20 minutes in the beginning but I like it so much I decided to set aside more time.  At first every time I jogged it was terribly depressing because it was so difficult it felt pointless.  So, I started doing this really dorky thing that changed my attitude and helped me stay motivated- in my head I started yelling "I'm doing it!  I'm doing it!"

Like it's a miracle!

Like I thought I'd never walk again let alone run!

Like the braces are flying off my legs! (Forrest Gump anyone?)

I know it's hilariously embarrassing, but for weeks it TOTALLY WORKED.  Recently it's like I pushed through a wall and I can now jog much much further than I could before, which is super encouraging.   

Slowly, as they've made sense and fit into my life, I've made many changes over the last 2 months, always with the mantra "more" repeating itself in my mind.  I've started menu planning and changed my grocery list a little so we've almost completely stopped eating take out all together.  I have been eating more fruit and vegetables and drinking more water.  Just recently I've been snacking more so I don't get so hungry between meals.  We've got the baby on a schedule, which has helped in a lot of ways.  She goes to bed early, so I go to bed earlier and without the TV- so I get more sleep and better sleep.  During the day she naps regularly so I get more time to do things for myself (like this blog).

I have not denied myself anything I've wanted- not really.  At most I may opt for water instead of soda or a piece of fruit instead of a cookie because I'll think something like I really haven't had a lot of water today...  But if I really want the soda or the cookie or whatever I just have it, because for me that's not the point right now.  When I start telling myself "no" I start the internal battle over what I want and what I should have.  That's when the guilt starts and that's when it turns into this weird depressing mind game where I end up angry at myself and feeling sorry for myself at the same time: Why can't I have anything?  Wahhhhh....  

I'm working really hard to change my life for the better and it's working.  Organically and sustainably I am developing healthy habits that are painlessly pushing out the bad ones.  I'm stronger and more energetic, and I'm on the path to a lifestyle that does not result in type 2 diabetes.  Oh-so-slowly I am losing weight, and I'm not worried that it's not happening faster, because the faster you take it off the easier you put it back on.  I don't have the time or the energy to play the yo-yo game when it comes to my weight and my health.

6 months old and I still can't resist a sleeping baby picture.

Weekend Little League

Our little guy, AHEM, I mean big bad 8-year-old had his first little league game this weekend.  We signed him up for baseball for the first time when he was only 4, so he's been playing for years, but this team is the first one he's been on where the kids pitch to each other.  In the past, they hit off a tee or the coaches pitched.  It's kind of an exciting milestone, and really fun to watch.  The weather was beautiful- you couldn't ask for a nicer opening day.

Pretty soon she got behind the camera, which resulted in some hilarious angry pictures of her older sister.

She got some good pictures of her brother batting, I just don't think she realized the camera was focusing on the fence.

Making sure we're paying attention.

Ready!

Staying loose...

Ducking under a bad pitch.

And then he gets beaned in the ankle.  If you look at the picture closely you can see the ball just before contact.  That one hurt.  He shed a few tears, needed a few hugs, and took a water break.  He was back on the field before the end of the game though.

That's him at shortstop- he made a good play out there.

The baby enjoyed herself at first (she loves being outside), but she got pretty tired and fussy about half way through.  She napped in our arms and it was alright.  When we got home she felt hot, (at the game we'd assumed it was just because it was a warm day), so we took her temperature and she did have a fever of 102.  Since she was clearly very uncomfortable we gave her some tylenol, and her temperature slowly dropped over the next several hours.  By 2 am-ish when she woke up for a diaper change and feeding she was completely back to normal, and the next day it was as if nothing had ever been wrong.  The moral of the story is, babies are weird.

At the end of the game the kids did the typical cheers for each other and high-fives all the way down the line.  Then the team huddled around the coach and of course my child is the first one to excitedly ask, "Did we win?!"  His competitive spirit knows no bounds.  I loved the coach's answer, "Ya know we're all good sports here, and the thing about being a good sport is whether you win or you lose you act the same- so we're not going to worry about the numbers... but we did get an extra few runs in..." I really appreciated the good sport angle, and I laughed when he couldn't help but add in that last part at the end, but we did win.

I'm competitive, too.  I don't sign my kids up for sports so they can win- I do it because it's fun and it's fresh air and sunshine and good sportsmanship is important and being on a team builds character and exercise YAY!

But still, winning is fun.

Besides, how do you practice being a good sport if you don't even know whether you won or lost?

Sleeping Babies

I completely fell down the rabbit hole on Pinterest last night.  I logged on with the intention of finding some sample schedules for 6 month olds.  We've got the baby on one already because she really needed the extra support in order to get enough sleep.  I'll spare you the details of how the hours are adding up and where the issues lie, but suffice it to say I was only searching for some ideas of different ways to structure the day, so I might be able to tweak her schedule to better fit her needs and accommodate the older kids' extra curricular activities at the same time.

I was not looking for sleep training advice, but that's what I found and oh man.  Some of the gems I stumbled across (I'm paraphrasing):

• If you let your 6 month+ baby fall asleep with you in the room and when they wake up during the night you've gone, it's akin to you falling asleep in your bed and waking up on the front lawn. (i.e. TERRIFYING)
• You should feed/nurse your baby a lot during the day so they're not hungry at night time.
• If you let your baby snack all day they'll want to snack all night, too!
• If you let your baby fall asleep with you past the age of 6 months they are guaranteed to wake up screaming every 45 minutes all night every night until you teach them to sleep in their crib.
• Dream feed.
• Don't dream feed, it's disruptive.
• Please never ever let your poor innocent little baby cry, they are tiny and they just need your love.

So, ya know, basically you're fucking it up no matter what you do.

The worst part is, I've fallen down this rabbit hole before.  Only this time I didn't see it coming, because that wasn't even the information I was looking for!  I just about had a panic attack wondering what the hell I was supposed to do until a little voice in my head reminded me that wasn't even what I went ON there for.  I don't have to do anything, because I'm not worried about the way she's sleeping/ falling asleep.  

It was sort of like freaking out trying figure out how you're going to quit smoking, and then realizing you don't smoke.

I had to laugh at myself after that.  Then I had to remind myself the internet is dangerous.  So be safe guys, be safe.

Return to Blogging 2: Electric Boogaloo

Aaand 6 months later!  Nobody noticed I was gone, right? I was just in the bathroom guys, c'mon.  It's not my fault you couldn't find me, this party is crowded!

In all seriousness I have really missed writing.  For the first few months after the baby was born I simply didn't have the time or mental energy.  Spoiler alert: babies are exhausting.  Raising FOUR children is exhausting, for that matter.  I compensated by plastering my personal Facebook profile with baby spam.  Seriously, it was obnoxious.  I don't feel badly for filling someone's feed with the mundane details of my day or the ten thousandth picture of my sleeping baby, because they can always hide me if they want- I might be a little embarrassed though.  There just weren't a lot of options when the big kids were at school and I spent hours of every day hanging out with a baby sleeping on my lap or nursing.  So while I certainly gazed at her in wonder and amazement, I also did a lot of binge watching TV and posting to social media basically anything I could pull of with one hand (and did a lot of googling of random things I was feeling paranoid about that day).  Eh, I've got some friends on there who love the baby spam (particularly the grandparents), so it's cool.

Once I did feel like I could scrape together the minutes to write a little, I faced a dilemma: what do I share and what do I keep private?  It's tricky business, blogging on the internet about your life and your family.  I'd decided on a system to protect my kids before I started, but it had been feeling cumbersome and awkward.  It was HARD to refrain from using pictures of their faces, and the nicknames never felt right because aside from Mister, I don't ever actually call them that in real life.  And now that the baby is here, are the rules different for her because she's my biological child, or because her history is not as complicated as theirs?

I did not have the answers to these questions, and I began to feel like I only had two choices.  Either don't overthink it, throw all the rules out the window and hope for the best!  Or quit blogging.  Since throwing all the rules out didn't feel right (and has never been my style), I just quit for a while.

The absence of this hobby has been nagging at me ever since.  I like writing, and I like sharing pictures and stories and projects.  I realized I didn't want to give it up, so I took some time and came up with new rules.

Rule #1: These rules apply equally to all of my children- it just doesn't feel right to have exceptions for the baby.

Rule #2: No names, just first initials.

Rule #3: No detailed accounts of past traumas, resulting behaviors, or case proceedings.  This one means some housekeeping on my part; I'm going to have to delete some stuff.  I know I know, once you've published it it's out there!  I still think it's reasonable at this juncture to just delete it and not worry about it anymore.

Rule #4: Pictures are ok, but no naked baby pictures.  Pictures of people not in my immediate family will only be posted with permission.

Rule #5: This blog is about me.  I'm writing it for my sake, and while yes I will write stories about my family, nothing I say should be interpreted as judgement or used to judge any of them.  This space is for sharing pondering musing humor and writing just for writing's sake, because I like it.

Well, that pretty much sums it up!  After all that, how about some pictures to recap the last 6 months?

August 2014

September 2014

September 2014

October 2014

October 2014

November 2014

November 2014

December 2014

December 2014

39 Weeks

The baby is... a girl!  We announced it a few weeks ago at our baby shower.  I had another ultrasound on Tuesday and their current estimate for her size is 6 lbs 13 oz, which is not much bigger than the ultrasound I had 3 weeks ago.  I suppose they're just guessing anyway; from what I've heard there's a pretty big margin of error.  Still, it's likely she's not gigantic- which is a good sign given the diabetes- and everything still looks healthy.

I'm feeling... simultaneously really impatient and fairly certain it's going to be a while yet.  The doctor says she's pretty low (minus one station, whatever that means), but I'm not dilated.  I feel her low but I also feel her high- I feel like she's consuming me!  I'm pretty tired and unfocused most of the time- hence the lack of blogging.  I'm trying to make the most of these last couple weeks, and there usually seems to be something or other to keep us busy.

Cliche (or not!) Pregnancy Symptoms... I'm really uncomfortable most of the time.  My stomach feels like it's going to pop, and it's difficult to sit in a normal position because it puts too much pressure on my abdomen.  I have to lean back slightly, but not too far or it hurts my neck.  I have difficulty falling asleep, and wake up often to pee.  The heartburn is insane- especially but not limited to when I lay down.  I'm trying to avoid foods that make it worse.  If you combine that with the gestational diabetes diet, I basically can't eat anything that tastes remotely like anything.  It's all bland meat and vegetables- no tomato related products- and easy on the carbs.  Of course sometimes I eat the thing that tastes good anyway, and then suffer the consequences.

Gestational Diabetes... My blood sugar has been really even and consistent, right around 100- so that's good and my nutritionist is happy.  Of course this last week I've had 1 or 2 high numbers (and by high I mean 120-128), but I still call it a win.  The nutritionist told me the last week or two are the hardest- you're working at max capacity and you're tired of it- but I should stick with it because if the baby gets used to high sugar levels during the last week in utero then it's a bit of a shock when she's born.  It could result in her sugars dropping when they cut the cord and she could end up in the NICU until they stabilize them- so it's worth all the effort.

I'm enjoying... a little too much online shopping for adorable baby things.  My savings account took a bit of a hit this month.  I hope she fits in 6 month old clothes most of the winter because I worked the sales on baby gap a little and bought her some really cute stuff.

Chris and I also took the time over the last few weeks to give each kid an evening alone with us to do something fun, and that was nice.  We want to remind them they're special and prepare them for when the baby comes- plus it's nice to hang out with them alone sometimes.  Without their siblings interrupting every few seconds we get to hear more of their stories.

I'm looking forward to... baby time, of course.  I'm also looking forward to the kids heading back to school.  Summer vacation really has flown by- the kids haven't really gotten so bored that they've driven me nuts.  We've had bad days here and there, but for the most part they've been great.  I'm sure it helps that they've had plenty of sleep overs and baseball games and all sorts of fun things to do- but I also think it's just about them getting older.  They can handle a day or two of hanging around the house and just find stuff to do.

Regardless of their good behavior, they're all ready to go back to school.  They need the stimulation and the exercise, and they're all excited to see their friends again.  I'm excited to have a (mostly) empty house for a few hours a day.  Of course the baby will be here, but I'm looking forward to that time I'll have when I can focus on her because the other kids are at school.

Here's a picture Chris took for me last week, about 38 weeks 3 days:

36 Weeks

The baby is... about 6 pounds 7 oz already, according to the ultrasound I had on Monday.  My doctor says that's in the normal range and things are looking good.  I always feel so good after ultrasounds- it's nice to get a peek at what's going on in there and be reassured that everything is developing as it should.  This time was by far the most fun, too.  Chris and the kids came in and the tech showed us the heart beating, all the connections forming in the brain, and then the baby rolled over and we got to see its face!  It was blinking and sucking and it was crazy to watch.  Spoiler alert, I think it's going to be REALLY cute.

I'm feeling... well, about 8 months pregnant.  It's getting hard to eat because there's not a lot of room left in my abdomen for food, but I'm hungry.  But I also have heartburn.  I radiate heat, forget the fact that it's 100 degrees outside.  I get tired and want to lie down, but lying down is extremely uncomfortable.  When I lay on my side I feel a tremendous pulling sensation as gravity pulls the baby weight down (and trying to prop my belly on a pillow has not helped) but laying on my back isn't an option either as it hurts all around and pinches things that shouldn't be pinched, makes it hard to breathe, and screws up my circulation.  All of that combined with my brain working overtime in anticipation has meant that time I take to "rest" like I did this weekend is not particularly restful or restorative.  Between my 3 kids and the extra 2 I watch during the day, I definitely end up doing a lot of things I don't feel like doing because I need to- but physically I don't think I'm any worse off than I would be anyway, and mentally I think it's helpful.  They distract me and they motivate me to do stuff, rather than sit around begging this baby to come out already.

I should be spending more time in the water, but it's been a week since I've gone swimming because every time I consider it getting ready sounds like too much work.  I need to just buck up and go, because sitting in the water is the only place left that's still comfortable.

Cliche (or not!) Pregnancy Symptoms... See above.

Gestational Diabetes... My baby is healthy and growing, my blood sugar levels are even and in the normal range, and I'm not gaining weight- so we're doing well.  Eating is getting difficult just because of the heartburn and the human being squishing my stomach, so that's kind of distracting me from the diabetes complaints.  Now I don't worry so much about my blood sugar levels being too high, but I hope I'm getting enough nutrition.

I'm enjoying... little things, for short bursts of time.  My stamina is shot.  One game of Mancala or 7 Wonders with the kids- I can handle that.  Sewing a quick and simple hankie style bib (for catching drool in style!) = very satisfying.  A few bites of a really good meal- right before my abdomen starts to feel like it's going to pop under the pressure- awesome.  We went to Thai food the other day when the kids were at a sleepover.  We split an order of spring rolls and mahi mahi with panang curry, and it was delicious.

I'm looking forward to... having everything "ready."  We've been putting off buying a lot of baby stuff until after the shower this weekend, and I'm getting impatient!  I'm a list-maker, a preparer, a planner.  With my due date less than a month away I've suddenly felt this sense of urgency- like I need to have everything on my list bought, washed, set up and put away.

Of course Chris pointed out that even if the baby came early, we have the things we truly need: a carseat to get the baby home, a safe place for it to sleep, and the means to keep it fed and a comfortable temperature.  (As long as breastfeeding works out- and it should!  Right?  Here's to staying optimistic!)  The only things we really couldn't live without that we don't have already are diapers, and we could pick those up on the way home from the hospital.  Everything else is a matter of comfort and convenience, and in some cases probably our sanity- but if the baby were early and we had to get some of that stuff after it was born, it just wouldn't be that big of a deal.

That being said, the baby probably won't be early, in which case we have plenty of time.  Still, I'm excited about the prospect of having it all done.

P.S. We took more maternity pictures last weekend, maybe I'll get another post up soon with more of those.

P.P.S. At the baby shower this weekend we're finally revealing the gender, and I'm REALLY excited about that!