Rest

I'm feeling pretty under the weather this week.  Mister has it, too.  I'm trying to decide if I want to keep him home from school tomorrow.  Slim had it last week, but if she felt like I do, she handled it a lot better.  This has been my camp during the afternoons the last couple of days.

Water, computer, blankets, pillows.  Mister came in to show me his muscles.  All 3 kids are great at eating healthy foods.  If Mister is ever unsure, we just tell him it will make him strong.

Dear is acting up a little.  She always does when I get sick.  Maybe she feels a little neglected?  She's so much better at coping now though, compared to how she used to be.  Now, she just needs a little acknowledgment.

I asked her what she thought parents did when they don't feel good and their kids are acting up.  Slim chimed in with "Send their kids to bed?"  Which is totally what I was going to say!  Smarty pants, she makes me laugh.

Everyday moments, cuddling, remembering to laugh out loud when one of the kids says something funny- that's the best I can muster when I don't feel well.

**This has been Day 8 of 31 Days of Enjoying My Kid.

Children Were Here

We had a sleep over this weekend.  We invited a sweet friend of the family (5 years old) and my niece and nephew.  For those of you keeping track that's 6 kids, ages 3, 5, 6, 6, 10, and 11.  We did it because we love these kids, and our kids love these kids, and we all wanted some time to hang out.  So we had a party!

We had homemade pizza and soda and too much candy and glow sticks and movies, and it was fun!

My niece, getting ready to go outside and play glow-in-the-dark-tag.

It was also busy and chaotic and messy.  Between the sugar and the lack of sleep and the sheer effort involved, I woke up the next morning to discover the sniffles I'd been suffering from for a few days had turned into a full blown sneezy achey coughing-up-a-lung cold.

I think it was worth it.  You might want to ask my husband, though, since he's the one who has been picking up the slack since.

Now I'm looking around at all of this.

Can you find the toys in the tree?  They're pretty tough to spot.  The stick was an
effort to knock them down.

Chicken scratches all along one fence?  I hope the weather wears it down before we move out,
so the land lord doesn't notice.

Piles of sticks, with some yarn thrown in, naturally.

Rows of rocks.

Forgotten gear.

AMAZINGLY clean after a weekend like that.  The dishwasher might be full, but it's clean!  Kudos to
Chris for that.

Pictures kids drew for me, pillows on the floor, dumb couch cover that only looks nice if no one ever
sits on the couch, but always looks better than the couch without a cover on.  Not to mention
Mister's socks and some one's tissues, (NOT MINE).  Also that chair on the right is totally
full of popcorn.

Tissues, candy wrappers (candy isn't super good for you when you're sick?), dishes.  Pants that need
to be altered for Slim, a board from our mock 'headboard' leaning up against the wall because it fell
3 months ago and we haven't fixed it yet.

Clean laundry in the hamper and on the bed, so of course our dirty laundry is currently in a pile
on the floor.

Dog peed on the floor because I spent all day in bed.  Maybe he was being kind and not
bugging me to come let him out, or maybe he's a jerk.

When the house gets like this I start to get frustrated.  I don't know if it's just easier to feel overwhelmed when you're sick, or if it's that when you sit down to rest you have time to notice all of the things you need to take care of that you've been ignoring.  Either way, I'm looking around at all the little things that need to get done, and they're bothering me.  I'm thinking about the next couple months: the holidays, the school parties, the birthdays (4 out 5 of us have birthdays in November-December, not to mention 5 extended family members), and I'm wondering what things I'm going to have to let go of.  A winter garden?  Handmade Christmas gifts?  Sleep or health?  I can't sacrifice the last two- I did that during last year's holiday season, and when January rolled around and it was all over, I felt like I'd missed it.  I'd been too busy to enjoy it.

To settle my nerves, I'm looking around at the messes and trying to change my perspective.  They are not items on my to-do list- they are evidence that children were here.  Our home is full and busy and well loved.  (Do you think our landlord will look at it that way when we eventually move out?)

I think this month of posts focused on enjoying my children is a perfect segue into the holiday season, because I want to carry this philosophy through November and December.  I want to remember to put time spent together first.  Everything doesn't have to be perfect to be worthwhile.  And 20 years from now, I'm going to look back on this time fondly, and wish I had appreciated it more.  I know this to be true. 

I'm going to focus on the things that bring us together, and try not to worry so much about the details that drive me crazy.  I'm going to take pictures of the challenges and the messes, and maybe even be grateful for them.  And I'm going to try to remember to throw myself in front of the camera, too- for my own memories as well as for my children.  This is me today.

The house is a mess, my jeans don't fit right (because I suck at shopping), I'm wearing one of Chris's shirts (because I don't feel well and thought of wearing a shirt that fits better than a cloth sack just sounds abhorrent to me right now), and my hair is still wet even though I took this picture at 3 o'clock in the afternoon (because I just took a shower about 20 minutes ago).    And it's ok.  Shocker- my kids don't care!  My family still loves me!

So I'm thankful.  I'm not stressed out (for now).  And I'm really hoping that if I'm this mellow, my kids will follow suit, and we'll have a quiet and peaceful evening.



**This is Day 7 of 31 Days of Enjoying My Kid.

Date Night

No, I didn't take any of my kids out for a date night.  However, I'm a big believer that in order to enjoy your kids you have to enjoy some time away from them as well.  Last night Mister got invited to go see Monster Trucks with my father-in-law.  Dear was invited to a birthday party from 5:30 to 7:30, and Slim was invited to a party from after school to whenever.  That meant that if we picked Slim up after Dear, we had 120 glorious minutes to ourselves.  Take away commuting time, and that translated to about 80 minutes gorging ourselves on Thai food with a couple of friends.  It's refreshing to spend some time with adults.

Then, when it was time to pick the girls up, we were relaxed and cheerful and ready to listen to them jabber on, simultaneously, about their parties the whole way home.

I was way too busy carting kids around and eating delicious Thai food to take any pictures, but check out this cute weirdo.  I found him napping like this, but he opened his eyes when he heard me.

**This is Day 5 of 31 Days of Enjoying My Kid.

Taking Time Out

We were tremendously busy yesterday afternoon.  I had a meeting after school with Mister's teacher, which I was late to.  Both of the girls have been invited to birthday parties tomorrow night, and we're having a sleep over with my niece and nephew on Saturday night, so I got caught up in front of the school talking to moms and coordinating weekend plans.  Then the meeting with Mister's teacher, about the class Halloween party, lasted about an hour.  Then it takes about a half an hour to drive home, (a long drive to your kids' school I know, but it's totally worth it for a school you love).  We didn't get home until almost 5 o'clock.  

At this point I'm thinking about getting homework done and dinner made and the video chat we're supposed to have with family at 7pm, not to mention the stuff I need to do for Mister's Halloween party and the phone calls I still needed to make about the weekend birthday parties because I wasn't sure if the kids were going to have a visit with their dad that was going to interfere.  I felt myself going into takin'-care-of-business mode, and I thought of this challenge.  I knew that if I was going to have a pleasant evening with the kids, I was going to have to let most of it go.

So I sat with the kids and helped them with their homework.  Calmly, patiently, slowly.  I let the kids stop and tell me stories, I didn't shush them and tell them to hurry up and finish their work.  I reminded myself that just because Slim can't do this math problem right now doesn't mean she's never going to be able to do math ever.  I chuckled when she said I've got a bit of a cold- just because of the way she said it.

When Mister put his stuff away and ran off to his room to put on a mix cd and play legos, instead of chasing him down with his reading folder and a timer, I sat down and listened to Dear practice the flute.  I got to hear the new notes she's learning, and then I got to hear stories about the other kids in her class and things that happened that day at school.

When I did track Mister down, he was carefully copying Sonic out of a comic book.  We still didn't read, we got distracted with something else.

When Chris got home, he made dinner.  He does so often and willingly, though he's a little bit slower and quite a bit messier than I am.  So we ate dinner late, in front of my computer so we could video chat at the same time.  

The kitchen is still a disaster area, Mister only got about 5 minutes of reading time in, and everybody went to bed a little late, but that's ok.  We didn't just go through the motions today- we looked at each other and listened to each other and that's GREAT.

We also got to video chat with my sister and my mom, who each live several hours away in opposite directions.  It was kind of ridiculous because their were five kids on that video chat, my own and my niece (3) and nephew (6).  Mister and my nephew were convinced the purpose was entirely for them to talk to each other, so they pretty much yelled over everyone the whole time.  On a side note, they call each other brother- ya know, because they love each other, so they're brothers.  Adorable.



**This is Day 4 of 31 Days of Enjoying My Kid.

Calm

I like how he wants be with me, and do what I do.

I like how she treats the animals.

I like when the house is peaceful.  Everyone is happily engaged, and we can all get a little rest.

**This is Day 3 of 31 Days of Enjoying My Kid

Light Heart

Mister is in this kind of amazing phase right now.  He's full of questions and experiments; he wants to know everything.  He's been especially curious about things that grow.  He goes out to the garden every day to check for ripe tomatoes.

He came in the other day, breathless with excitement.  Jeska, we have MUSHROOMS!

I lost my temper and yelled at him today.  It was stupid.  I over reacted. Then I was angry at myself and I was embarrassed and I was having trouble swallowing my pride and moving on.

But this guy, he was done with it in two minutes.  He forgave me- just like that, without being asked and without an apology.  I hope he stays that way as he grows up, light-hearted, kind, forgiving.  When he does stuff like this, he makes me want to be a better person.

After I yelled at him, I sat on the couch with my cheeks burning, staring but not actually looking at my phone.  He went out back with a pocket full of acorns.

I followed and took pictures as he dug, buried, and watered.

Then he planted a stick over each acorn, to know where his trees were of course.

And left out the watering can he'd promised he would put away.

Is there anything else around here on the ground that I could plant, Jeska?



**This has been Day 2 of 31 Days of Enjoying my Kid.

Our one thing...

We have almost nothing in common.  When I was a kid I liked sports and playing outside.  I liked to build things and I liked to read.  She's struggled with reading; we're still hoping she falls in love with it one day.  She likes to play dress up, do her hair and paint her nails.  She cares about clothes and jewelry and carefully orchestrated outfits.  I wear my hair in a pony tail and live in jeans.  Nail polish actually bothers me, even on other people.  I have no idea why.  I frequently don't understand why she does the things she does- I just don't think we process the world in the same way.

We do have one thing though.   We both like to create.

Painting, sewing, knitting, crafting... we dabble in all of it.

We went to the fabric store together yesterday, just me and her.  We picked out some fabric to make new pillows for the living room.  More importantly, we browsed and chatted and enjoyed each other's company.  It's nice to share something with your kid.  It's nice to know you have something to come back to, when you're feeling far away from each other.  Maybe some day we'll have more things in common, but for now we have this.

**This has been Day 1 of 31 Days of Enjoying My Kid.