Oct 16, 2013


Tonight at dinner Dear said, "You know what my teacher said to me?  She said 'Are you adopted?  Because you don't look like your parents."

We've had to deal with people asking inappropriate questions SO MANY TIMES I couldn't list them all now if I wanted to.  We just don't match our kids- we're young and our kids look even older than they are because they're so tall, and people have no boundaries.  I get it- people are curious.  They don't assume there is some kind of uncomfortable situation, and they ask questions without thinking about it.  And I don't mind questions!  I like talking about my family and I like talking about our kids.  The thing is, I HATE questions in front of my kids, because it makes them uncomfortable.  They just want to be left alone.  They're still pretty insecure about their past, and they deserve to choose for themselves what information they share and with whom.  Who?  Whatever.

So at times when strangers ask invasive questions, I get annoyed pretty fast.  Then I try my best to mask my annoyance and change the subject.  Nope they're mine!  So anyway...  I felt anger rising inside me when Dear said that.  I was contemplating the best way to bring it up with her teacher.  I didn't want to lose my temper and ruin every interaction with her from here on out.  It didn't even make sense anyway!  Dear's teacher knows exactly what her situation is!  She knew it last year, when she had Slim in her class.  We've talked about it many times!  Beyond being inappropriate it was illogical.

Then it occurred to me.

Dear is a terrible story-teller.

I've noticed it when I've listened to her telling other people stories that happened when I was there, and she told it all wrong.  I've noticed it when she's told me stories that just didn't make any sense.  She leaves out important information.  She phrases things in misleading ways.

So I asked her, trying to stay nonchalant, "What exactly did your teacher say, anyway?"

"Well," she said, "I told my friend Julie* that I don't live with my birth parents, because she doesn't live with her birth parents either.  Then today she said to our teacher 'Did you know Dear doesn't live with her birth parents?' and our teacher said 'Oh.' But I could just tell what she was thinking."

GEEZ that's a different story.

Kids.  Take everything they say with a grain of salt.  Or a lot of salt.  Lots and lots of salt.

*Julie's name isn't really Julie, but it works for our purposes.

**This has been Day 16 of 31 Days of Enjoying My Kid.

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