The weather seems to have taken its final turn toward summer. The mercury has risen and it's unlikely to drop again until the fall. It's strangely liberating, the first time you can comfortably walk around the house with bare feet in the morning. I feel like I've been cold constantly for months without even realizing it, and now I'm beginning to thaw. Saturday morning we sat around the breakfast table with bare knees bouncing, naked toes dangling and swaying as we ate waffles and chatted about our plans for the day. The baby was already down for her first nap. Just as I finished my last bite, we heard her let out a squawk over the baby monitor.
I walked upstairs to collect her. When I came in the room she wasn't in her typical happy post-nap mood- instead she fussed and rubbed her eyes. I scooped her out of the crib and she burrowed into my chest. I sat on my bed to nurse. She melted in my lap and nursed quietly for several minutes, her eyes closed and body calm, until she was completely asleep. I readjusted my shirt and sank back into the pillows, gazing at the sleeping baby in my arms.
Her head rested in the crook of my right arm, and she lay across my belly with her long legs extending all the way down my left side. I remembered when she was a newborn, she was so tiny I had to tuck her little body down by my side with her head poking out front so she could breastfeed and breathe at the same time. She ate a lot and filled out quick, so soon she was this adorable little ball of dough- so squishy with rolls that went on for days. Then she learned to roll and scoot, and now she's crawling and climbing, so her body is changing again.
I don't often get to snuggle her while she sleeps in the light of day anymore. When she was first born that's all we did, but now she's active and observant and smart, and she needs a nice quiet, dark room to take a nap in. For some reason that morning was different though, and all she needed was her momma's warm chest to snuggle up to. I sat on the bed, light streaming through the open door, and I noticed how strong she looks now. She still has little thigh rolls, thank goodness. She still has creases on her wrists and ankles, and dimples where her elbows and knuckles are supposed to be. Her face is perfect and round with cubby little cheeks framing her pursed baby lips.
She's getting long though. Looking at her little legs and arms I could see how able she is becoming. Within a couple months I imagine she'll be walking, if not independently at least along the furniture. I saw that morning the first hints of the kid that my baby is going to be.
I stroked the soft downy hair grown thick over her head and felt the weight of her sleeping on my chest. I did my best to memorize every detail of her precious face, her chubby fingers, her amazingly adorable little toes. I will miss this, I know. Every new step is SO exciting and it is SO MUCH FUN watching her learn and grow, but I am unbelievably grateful to have my tiny babe for just a little longer.